Extraordinary

I'm not sure where I got the idea that I had to be more than ordinary. I somehow acquired this belief that I couldn't be just average. I developed this restless desire to be extraordinary.

Maybe this idea came from the Gospel of Good Works preached at my church growing up. Or maybe it was reinforcement of coaches pushing me to reach perfection. Or maybe it was some unnecessary, involuntary response to a childhood trauma (like not being able to have ice cream before bed:)).

Wherever it came from, it's been quite a burden to carry. It's been like holding onto an anchor keeping an imaginary ship above my head from sailing away. It's been a heavy, imaginary, yet real burden.

I realized today that it would be OKAY to be average. For the first time in my life, I gave myself full permission to be average and ordinary. I wouldn't need to strive to be great at anything. I wouldn't even need to be "different".

I could get a job I mildly hated, but one that adequately paid the bills, raise a family and take part in social functions as calmly and easily and naturally as everyone else and quit bothering about living an extraordinary life. I gave myself full permission to do that and I felt some sort of relief. I at least let go of the anchor attached to the imaginary ship I was holding in place.

Then I thought some more about all of this and realized that perhaps the reason I got this idea of living an extraordinary life was because I actually do want to live one. Perhaps I don't want to be ordinary. Perhaps I don't want the same things many other people want. And then I realized that that too was OKAY.

I suppose it dawned on me that God loves the ordinary as much as the extraordinary.
He cherishes the average right along side the above average. He values the mundane and the creative.

I am no more extraordinary than anyone else deep down. We are all made in God's image and we all have different sorts of experiences and opportunities that shape us into who we are today. And so many of those come about by chance and circumstance: no extraordinary person can receive full credit for reaching their "extraordinary" position. The things I choose to do, and the talents I choose to develop may make my life look different on the outside, but what will always matter, is my condition on the inside.

So, whether I choose to be a teacher or circus performer, God loves me just the same. All work, if not harmful, is valuable. Whichever way I go and whatever I leave behind along the way, matters far less than how much I grow more fully into the truth of who God made me. The rest is icing on a cake in which He provides the recipe and ingredients. Our hearts before God and others is what turns ordinary people into extraordinary ones.

I am afraid that if I try to become extraordinary on my own or live an extraordinary life by my standards, I may miss it completely. If I direct my energy in developing a heart poured out to God and others, I just may find Extraordinary along the way...